


Close Your Eyes

by ladywinchester1967



Category: MCU, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, F/M, bucky barnes smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 14:24:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19152844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladywinchester1967/pseuds/ladywinchester1967
Summary: Bucky Barnes finally has a chance at a normal life, then Thanos happens. How will his loved ones cope with his sudden loss?





	1. Part 1

“We failed,” Steve said in the phone “I failed. I failed you and-“

“Don’t you fucking dare say it Steve!” I snapped into the phone “Where’s Bucky?!”

“He’s gone.” Steve said “He’s gone; T'Challa, Sam, Wanda, Vision. They’re all gone.”

I collapsed on to the ground, the phone bouncing away from me as sobs wracked my body.

“No!” I yelled “No, Bucky! NO!”

I rocked back and forth as I held my knees to my face.

“He promised,” I sobbed “he promised me. He promised!”

  
  


_Five Years Later....._

  
  


“Mama?!” A small voice asked.

“Yes baby?” I asked and saw my son, James, running toward me. I picked him up and he said

“Unca Steve at the door.” and stuck his thumb in his mouth, a tell tale sign that he was exhausted.

“Okay, well, let’s go see what Uncle Steve wants.” I said and walked to the door where Steve Rogers stood. He often came by the house to check on me and James ever since Bucky had disappeared. I learned that Thanos had snapped his fingers and wiped out half of earth’s population and for some reason, I was spared and in the very early stages of my pregnancy with James. Natasha had helped me out as much as she could, she was even there when James was born, but it was too hard on Steve. I knew he even had a hard time looking at James because he was the spitting image of Bucky.

“Hey Steve,” I greeted him and opened the door “you wanna come in? I’m just about to put James down for a nap.”

“Yes, thank you.” Steve said, keeping his expression tight.

  
  


Once I laid James down, Steve joined me for a cup of coffee and explained their latest mission.

“The less you know the better,” Steve cautioned me “but we’re gonna try and bring everyone back that Thanos got rid of.”

“How?” I asked, “the last I had heard, the Infinity Stones were destroyed and that was all she wrote.”

“Again, the less you know, the better. Just know that I’m going to do everything in my power to bring him home.”

I sighed and looked at the pictures on the mantel, a few were of Bucky and I, but lately, more space was taken up by James, which I knew Bucky wouldn’t have minded at all.

“What if this doesn’t work?” I asked. In spite of the hole I felt in my chest, I’d learned to get along without Bucky, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt every single day.

“It will,” Steve assured me “and the first place I’ll bring him is here.”

I could read the sincerity in his face, he was set. He knew what he had to do. I nodded and reached out, putting my hand over his.

“You better.” I told him.

  
  


Days went by without a word from Steve, which wasn’t all that worrisome, but nonetheless kept me on pins and needles. I kept up with James as usual, but this nagging feeling never seemed to leave me. I dropped James off at school and went home, pausing by the fireplace mantel. I picked up my favorite picture of Bucky and I, we’d taken a walk in the forest near our house and I begged him to stop and take a picture with me. He gave in and was smiling broadly with his arm around my shoulders. I sighed and put the picture back, feeling something move in my hand as I did this. I furrowed my brows and turned the picture over, there was a bit of paper stuck in the clasps that held the picture in place. I opened it and my heart nearly burst out of my chest. In Bucky’s scrawled hand writing, the note read

  
  


“ _You’re my life and my safe harbor,_

_Where the sun sets every night._

_And if my love is blind,_

_I don’t want to see the light._

_When my world was dark and blue, I know the only one who rescued me was you._

_You’re the reason that I’m feeling it’s finally safe to stay.”_

_See you soon!_

_Love,_

_Bucky_

  
  


In shock, I dropped the note, the quote was from a Michael Buble song that came up on my Spotify playlist. Bucky heard me humming along with it and wrapped his arms around me.

“I think this song was written about you doll face.” he had said and kissed my cheek.

Then I realized what the nagging feeling was, hope. For the first time in five years, I had hope that Steve would bring Bucky back to me. Tears fell down my cheeks and I clutched the note in my hands.

  
  


The next day, James and I were in the house, he was coloring on the dining room floor, his favorite animal coloring book and crayons in front of him while I washed that morning’s dishes. Once the dishwasher was loaded, I glanced down to start it when I heard the distinct sound of a car pulling into the gravel driveway. I looked out of the kitchen window for just a second, then back to the dishwasher, until it clicked in my mind what I had just seen. I looked back up and saw a black Audi SUV pulling closer to the house.

“No way.” I said and watched as the car came to a stop and the engine cut off. I could see Steve and Sam Wilson in the front seat and I immediately ran to the front door and out on to the porch.

“Mommy?” James called after me, but I barely heard him.

I watched, as if in slow motion, Steve and Sam climbed out of the front seat and the back driver’s side door opened.

He looked exactly the same; piercing blue eyes, long dark hair and a shocked expression on his face.

I jumped off the porch and ran to him, it felt like I was moving slower than I really was, as he seemed to be further away. With a couple of long strides, he met me in the middle as I jumped and crashed into his arms. He held me tightly, swinging me around as I cried out joyfully.

“You’re-you’re!” Was all I could say as I ran my fingers through his thick, brown hair.

“I’m home pretty girl,” he said as he pushed my hair out of my face and pressed his forehead to mine “I’m finally home.”

I cried as I kissed him deeply; his lips felt the exact same as they always had. Slightly chapped but still just as sweet and insistent.

“Mommy?!” I heard a small voice yell from the porch.

Bucky immediately pulled back from me and looked at the porch, seeing the boy for the first time. Their eyes, which were carbon copies of each other, locked and I turned to see a big smile cross James’ little face.

“DADDY!” He yelled and ran off the porch as fast as his little legs would carry him.

Bucky’s face drained of color as he set me down and then crouched as the little boy raced to him. James wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck and squeezed him tightly.

“Daddy! You’re home!” James squealed in delight “Mommy, look! Daddy’s here!”

Bucky picked up the little boy and held him tightly, his eyes wide as he stared at me.

“Daddy?” Bucky asked, tears filling his eyes.

“Bucky,” I told him with a grin on my face “meet James Benjamin Barnes.”

“How-how old is he?” Bucky asked, the shock evident in his voice.

“I five!” James told him proudly and held up five little fingers.

Tears fell from Bucky’s eyes and I watched as he squeezed our son in his arms.

  
  


Steve and Sam didn’t stayed for a little while, they each gave me long hugs and I thanked Steve profusely.

“Thank you so much Steve.” I told him for the millionth time as I watched Bucky give James yet another shoulder ride while Sam chased them around the large oak tree in our front yard.

“I promised.” Steve simply told me “The first thing he asked me after the battle was where you were.”

I grinned as I heard Bucky and James laughing while Sam ran behind them. I watched as Bucky put James down to the ground. I turned back to Steve and asked

“Where’s Natasha?”

Steve wouldn’t look at me right away, he bit his lip and shook his head.

“No,” I breathed, my hands over my mouth “oh no, Steve. What happened?”

“It’s a long, long story.” Steve told me “one I haven’t even begun to process yet, but she didn’t die in vain.” He nodded over my shoulder and I watched as both James and Bucky were striding toward me with identical grins on their faces.

“What’re you two up to?” I asked as they got closer.

James looked up at Bucky, who nodded and from behind their backs, they both produced bouquets of wildflowers that grew in the field by our house.

“Oh thank you!” I exclaimed, taking them both and giving both of them a kiss on the cheek “Flowers from my men.”

  
  


That night, I made a pot roast for dinner; one of Bucky's favorites, and after a little bit more play time, it was time for James to go to bed.

“I stay up and play with Daddy.” James declared.

“Daddy will be here when you wake up in the morning,” I promised James “won’t you Buck?”

Bucky grinned and said

“You bet I will,” he booped the tip of James’ nose “I’m not leaving you or Mom okay?”

“Okay.” James relented.

  
  


After reading Goodnight Moon, Bucky walked with me down the stairs and into the living room where he pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead.

“I’m so sorry,” he said against my skin “I should’ve been here.”

“You would’ve been,” I told him as I looked up at him “I know you would have if it hadn’t been for Thanos.”

Bucky held my face in his hands and kissed my forehead again and then the tip of my nose.

“Damn right I would’ve been,” Bucky told me “but I wasn’t and I missed everything. Him being born, his first steps, his first words.”

“You were here though,” I told him “he has a picture of you and me in his room, one in his cubby at school. He grew up on stories about you, he knows everything about you Bucky. You’re his hero.”

Bucky shook his head, his hair falling into his eyes until I brushed it away, tucking it behind his ear.

“YOU’RE the hero,” he told me “you held down the fort while I was gone, you raised our son by yourself for God’s sake.”

I shrugged and said

“I had help,” I insisted “Nat, Pepper and Steve helped when they could.”

“But you RAISED him,” Bucky insisted “he’s so good and sweet, that’s all you.”

“And he gets away with everything because he looks like you.” I told him with a grin.

We kissed as Bucky pulled me close, holding me tightly in his arms.

We stood like this for a long time, just holding one another. I laid my head on his chest, a genuine smile crossing my face for the first time in a very long time. I squeezed Bucky in my arms and smile up at him.

“I missed you,” I told him “and I found this.”

I showed him the note and he smiled as he read it.

“I left that right before-“ he stopped himself, biting his lip.

I nodded and kissed his cheek.

“I love you too, James Buchanan Barnes.” I told him.

He smirked down at me and kissed the crown of my head. He tilted my face up to his and we kissed tenderly. His hand combed through my hair as he picked me up with his metal arm, carrying me to our room.

  
  


 


	2. The Prequel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Bucky met Fiona.

 

It was as if the paperwork gods wanted to troll the ever loving hell out of me, as I was clearly not meant to hold on to a single document that day. Files and loose papers fell out of my hands as I tripped and fell to my knees in front of god and everyone else at the Avengers compound. I quietly swore up a storm as I adjusted my glasses on my face and started to pick up my things.

“Here, let me help you Miss.” a male voice said.

Having my back turned, I couldn’t see who was talking to me.

“No, I’ve got it,” I told the helpful stranger “I’m having A DAY today!”

The voice chuckled as I turned and saw a man wearing black and white Nike shoes, black pants, a black hoodie that was zipped up with a red t-shirt poking out of it and a black baseball cap covering his hair and most of his face.

“That so?” He asked and handed me the files he had gathered. Our fingers brushed for a second and a shudder went down my spine.

“Thank you,” I told him “really, you didn’t have to.”

“Can’t just leave a lady stranded.” he told me as he extended his hand and helped me stand back up.

“Well, if I see a lady, I’ll let know know.” I told him and tried to maintain some kind of sense of dignity. The guy smirked and I heard someone call my name.

“Fiona!” Tony Stark yelled as he crossed the lobby and I shuffled the papers in my hands.

“Mister Stark!” I exclaimed “I have those reports you asked for and I’ll drop them off with Pepper in a moment.”

“Thank you,” Tony said and his eyes met Bucky’s “I see you’ve met one of our newest crew members. Barnes, Fiona. Fiona, Bucky Barnes.”

After our quick introduction, Bucky and I shook hands and I excused myself, partly from embarrassment and the other half was because I had a deadline to meet.

  
  


After that day, I noticed Bucky around more often. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was aware of his presence now or maybe he was just at the compound more often, but I always seemed to be able to find him no matter what.

One night, I was working late when someone cleared their throat and I let out a scream of fright. When I realized it was Bucky I said

“Give a girl a warning next time!” as I clutched my chest.

“Sorry!” He exclaimed “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay,” I told him “just have a bell around your neck or something.”

He laughed at the comment and I noticed his hand was behind his back. “What cha got there? More files for me to drop?”

He laughed again, a sound I realized I couldn’t get enough of.

“No, not quite.” He said and handed me what looked like a to go, Styrofoam plate.

“What’s this?” I asked as I took it.

“Swiped it from the kitchen before Sam and Banner finished all of it.” He said with a smile.

I opened the lid of the plate and saw some chicken with vegetables, a little bit of fruit and mashed potatoes.

“What’s this for?” I asked with an amazed smile.

“I thought you might be hungry because Pepper mentioned you guys were working late tonight and-“ he stopped, taking a hand through his hair “I don’t know? Fuel for the midnight oil I guess?”

I watched his cheeks and ears go pink as I smiled.

“Thank you,” I told him “that’s so kind of you. I really, really appreciate it and the food smells delicious.”

“I thought so too,” he added “I had some before I brought you your plate.”

“I could use a break,” I told him “care to sit with me for a little while?”

His eyes shone and he said

“I’d like that, a lot.”

  
  


That was how it started; the more I got to know Bucky, the more I liked him. He didn’t talk about his past or his metal arm much, and truth be told, other than the occasional whirling or clicking sounds, I barely noticed it. Bucky was from a different time, I quickly realized, by the way he treated me. He actually came by when he said he would and called at the time he said he would. He always pushed my chair in and held doors open for me.

One day, I passed him in the hallway near the jet hanger and he was in full battle gear including combat boots with a gun at his hip and an assault rifle strapped to his back. How metal arm shone in the early afternoon sun, and he smirked as he saw me approaching.

“Off on a mission?” I asked as we met one another in the middle.

“Just some recon,” he stated “for now that is.”

I looked him up and down, he looked good in battle gear.

“Okay,” I said “be careful okay? We have a date on Monday.”

He chuckled and said

“You got it doll face.”

I groaned

“I HATE that nickname and you know it.” I told him.

“I think you like it,” he teased “you just don’t want to admit it.”

“Buck!” we heard a voice yell and we both turned to see Steve Rodgers eyeing us and smiling “C’mon, time to go.”

“I’m coming!” Bucky yelled back

“That’s what she said!” We heard Tony yell from inside the ship.

I laughed and Bucky shook his head.

“I’ll be careful.” He told me.

“Good,” I said “because I can’t have a date that’s limping because they acted foolish on a mission.”

“No foolishness doll face, I promise.” He said and winked at me before walking away.

  
  


Hours later, the team still hadn’t returned and I was getting anxious. I normally would’ve left the compound and gone home by now, but I had this nagging feeling that I needed to stay behind. I walked into Pepper’s office and she looked surprised to see me.

“You’re normally gone by now.” She pointed out.

“I know,” I told her “I guess I’m just jumpy is all.” She raised an eyebrow at me and I sighed “It’s just that-“ I paused and groaned “Bucky’s out there and-“

“You want to know if he makes it back okay?” Pepper asked and I nodded. She let out a small laugh and said “I know the feeling, I’m the same way until Tony gets back.”

“There’s a difference,” I pointed out “you and Tony are married, Bucky and I are just friends.”

“Friends?” Pepper asked “Are you sure about that?”

“Well yeah, I mean what else would we be?” I asked, avoiding the obvious. Pepper gave me a knowing look and I bit my lip “I just want to make sure he’s okay. That’s all.”

“If you say so.” Pepper told me and pulled up a screen with a smile on her face “the jet is back.”

  
  


I followed Pepper down to the hanger where Natasha and Clint were pulling the jet into its proper spot. The hatch opened and the Avengers slowly walked out with Bucky, Sam and Wanda on their heels. My eyes met Bucky’s and he smiled. He looked dirty, battle weary and he had a cut on his face, but other than that, he was unharmed. He made his way to me and I hugged him.

“You okay?” I asked as both of his arms wrapped around me.

“I’m fine.” He told me and pulled back from me as I looked up at him.

“Come on, let’s get that cut looked at.”

“It’s just a scratch doll face.” He chided me.

“Call me that one more time and I’ll punch you in the jaw,” I told him “please let the nurse look at that cut.”

“You heard the lady Buck,” Steve said with a smile “infirmary, now. Captain’s orders.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and we walked toward the infirmary together.

  
  


The nurse in the unit cleaned Bucky’s cut and sent him on his way. He and I walked in silence for a little while before he asked

“Aren’t you usually gone by now?”

I nodded and said

“Just checking to make sure you were okay.”

“You waited here?” He asked “For me?”

“Well yeah,” I told him with a shrug “I mean, that’s what we do right? Look out for each other?”

He stopped walking and so did I, he looked stunned.

“What?” I asked as I looked at him.

Moonlight streamed through the big glass windows of the compound, bathing both of us in a milky, limited light. Bucky’s eyes searched my face before he took two steps closer to me. We were inches apart and I realized how heat it was to breathe in such close proximity to him. I looked up at him as he bent his head down and he kissed my lips.

My body seemed to go into shock, I hadn’t expected him to kiss me, but it felt like everything around me faded away except for him and I. He cautiously wrapped me into his arms, not holding me tightly as I opened my mouth and kissed him again. I cupped his face in my hands, his beard scratching my palms as we kissed over and over again. When we finally pulled back, he pressed his forehead to mine.

“Are you okay?” He asked me quietly.

I nodded and looked up at him.

“I’ve been waiting for that.” I said with a grin.

He smiled and kissed me again, his arms wrapping tighter around me, pulling my body flush with his. Without warning, he pulled back and said

“We better take this some where else.”

“Why?” I asked

“I can hear Sam and Steve coming.” He said and made a motion down the hallway.

“Where?” I asked, panicking.

“My room.” He said and we scampered down the hallway and away from the approaching intruders.

  
  


Once inside Bucky’s room, he locked the door and flipped on the light, he has clothes and shoes strewn about, like he had taken them off and forgotten to put them away, but his bed was neatly made.

“Sorry about the mess,” he said, raking a hand through his hair “I wasn’t expecting anyone.”

“It’s okay.” I told him “If it makes you feel better, my apartment kinda looks the same.”

“It does.” He said and took off his combat boots. Once they were placed to the side, he strode over to me. “I believe we were in the middle of something.”

“Yes, we were.” I said and took my heels off, loosing a few inches of height in the process. I wrapped my arms around his neck and said “I believe I was about right here.”

He nodded and then added

“And I think I was right about,” he placed his hands on my waist and dipped his head down “here.” He kissed me deeply and I ran my hands over his broad shoulders. The tips of his fingers dug into my hips as he opened his mouth, kissing me again. I sighed as we kissed, he was truly an amazing kisser, soft and strong all at the same time as he pulled my body flush with his. He kissed down my chin, to my neck and back up again as my fingers tangled in his long hair.

“Bucky,” I sighed as she kissed my cheek and then nibbles on my ear. I moaned and dug my fingers into his shoulders. I moved backward and toward his bed. When I hit the edge of the bed, I sat down, pulling away from him as both of our chests heaved. I started unbuttoning my blouse and he asked

“Are you sure?”

I nodded as the last button came undone and he crouched in front of me.

“I’m sure.” I told him.

He pushed the shoulders of my blouse down my arms as he kissed me. The garment was discarded to the floor, both of his hands winding around my waist and up my back. The warmth of his flesh hand was in deep contrast to the cold of of his metal hand, but it was a delicious combination. He quickly unhooked my bra and pushed the straps down, covering my shoulders and collar bone with kisses. I reached for his vest but couldn’t figure out how to take it off.

“Take this off for me.” I told him as his fingers trailed down my spine. He pulled back, still crouching in front of me as he seemed to take it off in a flash. Bare chested, I could see where metal met flesh and the deep scars that accompanied it. I let my bra fall and pushed it to the side as he climbed on top of me, pinning me between him and the bed.

“Still okay?” He asked, his chest rapidly rising and falling.

I bit my lip and nodded, I bunched my skirt up around my waist to accommodate him between my legs, my hands going up both of his arms and cupping his face again.

“I’m fine,” I assured him “I’m just fine.”

He gave me a half smile before kissing me again and pressing his bare chest against mine. I let my hands roll up and down his back as we intensely kissed, his tongue swiping across my lips. I opened up as his tongue slid over mine. I nipped the tip of his tongue and he groaned into my mouth, his hips snapping into mine. He unzipped my skirt and I slipped it off, casting it aside with my blouse. I was suddenly embarrassed being so naked in front of him, every scar, bump, trace of cellulite and stretch mark coming to my mind. None of that seemed to matter to him, he kissed down my neck, chest and belly right to the apex of my thighs. I watched as he kissed along the waistband of my panties and then tugged them down and off of me. He opened my legs up and kissed from the inside of my knee and up to where I wanted him most.

“Bucky,” I whined “please Bucky!”

I felt him grin against my skin as he draped both of my legs over his shoulders. He licked my slit and I arched my back, the sensation driving me crazy.

“You taste like fucking candy doll face.” He told me as his tongue laved over my clit.

“Oh fuck!” I moaned “Fuck, that feels so good!”

He sucked my clit into his mouth as I raked my hands though his hair, keeping him in place. My hips moved with his mouth as I moaned louder.

“Oh god, god!” I moaned as my hips rolled against his mouth “Like that, god, oh! Like that!”

The more I encouraged him, the more he gave me, he licked through my my soaking folds, his beard scratching my inner thighs as I arched my back, my mouth falling open and my eyes rolling into the back of my head. I couldn’t make noise any more, all I could do was twitch and roll under him as the orgasm came crashing down on top of me with my blood rushing in my ears. I let go with a cry, gushing into his mouth as I clamped a hand over my mouth to quiet my screaming as I fell over the edge. He kissed my belly and chest, up to my neck and said

“Fuck doll face, I’ve never heard a girl moan like that before.”

“You’re,” I paused, thinking of the right words “frighteningly and freakishly good at that.”

He picked his head up and smirked

“You haven’t seen the half of it.” He said with a wink. He sat up and unbuckled his pants, pushing them down and off along with his boxers. He erection stood long and proud against his belly as he covered me with his body.

“Still okay?” He asked, flicking the head of his cock through my silken folds.

“Yes,” I moaned “Yes, still good.”

He sheathed himself fully insides me, both of us moaning as he struck true, hitting my sweet spot.

“Oh fuck, Bucky!” I moaned as I raked my hands though his hair. He cried out and started to move, his thrusts hitting me where I needed him. He moaned and cried out just above me, his mouth close to my ear, enough to send chills down my spine. I looked up at him, touching my forehead to his. His eyes opened and he gave me a grin, then kissed me heatedly.

“Bucky!” I whined against his mouth “Oh fuck, fuck!”

“Like this?” He asked, thrusting harder.

“Yes!” I cried out as I hooked my arm around his neck “oh fuck, just like that!”

His metal fingers intertwined with mine and he pinned me to the bed, thrusting hard into me as I fiercely kissed him, my hand splayed across his shoulder. He groaned into my mouth and squeezed my hand with his metal one, the sound of his snapping of his hips against mine filling the room as we both moaned.

“Fi, oh god!” He moaned as his flesh hand snaked up my chest and then pinned my free hand by my head. He kissed me hard, his hips drilling into me as I cried out against his mouth. We both reached our climax, calling out each other’s names as the peak hit both of us and we went crashing over it together. He came inside me with a lust filled cry and I threw my head back, feeling the explosion in every cell of my body.

  
  


Afterword, Bucky pulled me under the sheets with him as he held me in his arms.

“I should get up and go home.” I told him as he kissed below my ear.

“Do you want to?” He asked innocently and I laughed.

“Not in the slightest.” I told him “especially if you keep doing that.”

“Good,” He said “because I want you to stay.”

I grinned and laid on my back, facing him. He brushed the knuckles of his flesh hand on my cheek and kissed my forehead.

“You’re gorgeous doll face.” He told me with a tender look in his eyes. I let a grin break out across my face as I tucked his hair behind his ears.

“Hey, you’re no slouch yourself there.” I told him with a smile.

He picked my hand up, kissing the back of it, and then grinned at me.

“Go to sleep pretty girl, I’ll be here when you wake up.” He told me

I yawned and nodded, snuggling into his chest. He held me gently, as if I were made of glass, and then kissed the crown of my head.

  
  


_Two years later......._

  
  


“So Thanos has all of the Infinity Stones?” I asked.

“All but one,” Steve told me “we’re taking Vision to Wakanda to get the Mind Stone taken out of his head. It’s a delicate procedure but their technology is far more advanced than ours.”

I nodded and looked at Bucky, who was leaning against the jamb of our dining room. After a year of being in the Avengers, he’d decided he had enough of the hero life and had retired. We’d bought a house near where Clint and his family lived out in the country, somewhere nice and quiet where both Bucky and I could relax. Now, the relaxation had been cut by Steve Rodgers showing up at our door step. Bucky was needed out on the battle field, and I knew he’d never leave his best friend and former team hanging. I sighed, looking from the rendering that Tony had sent with Steve, to Bucky, and back again.

“What do you think?” I asked, looking at Bucky.

“That it’s suicide.” He told me and Steve as he stepped forward “but when have I ever left you on the battle field alone?”

Steve smiled and asked

“So you’re in?”

Bucky looked at me, seeing the anguish in my face, then back at Steve, then at me again.

“It’s just a mission doll face,” Bucky said as he cupped my face in his hands “I’ll be back before you know it.”

I pushed his hands away and walked out of the back door, tears streaming down my face. I knew this day would come. I knew he’d go back and help Steve when called, but I couldn’t help but feel like this was different. Something in my gut knew this was wrong.

  
  


Bucky gave me a few minutes to cool off before coming to find me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

“One more mission,” he told me “then I’m done. For good, I promise.”

“Don’t make a promise you can’t keep James Buchanan Barnes.” I told him as I wiped tears from my face. He kissed my temple and turned me around to face him. His ice blue eyes blazed as he pressed his forehead to mine.

“I told him this is it,” Bucky said “one more and then I’m retired. No more leaving you, no more hero life. I’m done, my life is here, with you.”

I put my hands over his as I sobbed.

“You promise?” I asked

“I promise.” He told me and kissed me deeply. When the kiss ended, even though I had a feeling of dread in my stomach, I nodded.

“Okay,” I told him “but this is the last one.”

“I know.” He answered.

  
  


I watched as Bucky packed all of his battle gear and I helped him pack all of the guns and ammo he would need.

“One more time for me,” he said as he handed me a pistol “show me how it’s done.”

“Clip,” I said and held the clip up, jamming it into the handle of the gun “safety off,” I clicked the safety off “cock,” I said and cocked the gun “then shoot.”

“Very good.” He said and kissed me.

“You better hurry back,” I told him as I put the safety on the gun “especially because I have a surprise for you.”

“Do you?” He asked as he slung his bag over his shoulder “then I’ll be sure to get back as quick as possible.”

“You better.” I told him and grabbed him by the collar of his shorts kissing him hard “I love you James Buchanan Barnes.”

“I love you too Fiona Renee Gerdes.” He told me and kissed me again.

We walked hand in hand to the door, where Steve was waiting, already in full Captain America gear.

“Bring him back in one piece you hear?!” I shouted to Steve, who nodded.

“I hear!” He yelled and waved.

“What’s my surprise?” Bucky asked.

“You’ll find out when you get back.” I told him “No hints until then.”

“Yes ma’am.” He said and gave me a wink. We kissed again and he stepped off the porch toward the Audi that Steve was standing by. He gave me one last wave and then jumped into the car with Steve. I waved back and watched them go. I waited until the car was gone to look down at my belly and said

“There goes our hero little one.” As I let my hands roam over my stomach.

 

 


	3. The Sequel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens after Bucky returns home.

It was an adjustment having Bucky in the house. Now that we had James, the dynamic had changed a little bit, sometimes it felt like I had two children as opposed to one.

One thing I'd left out of my fond memories were the nightmares Bucky had nightly. He would thrash and mumble in Romanian and wake up pouring sweat. Sometimes I could get him to settle back down by holding him tightly, other times he would get up and go for a walk. One night, Bucky had woken me up with a nightmare and James had woken up crying. I gathered James up into my arms and carried him into mine and Bucky's room.

“Looks like both my men need me.” I smiled wearily as I cradled both of them against me, trying to get some kind of sleep. The next day when I finally woke up, I was all alone. I sighed, wondering what they were up to when I heard the bedroom door swing open. When I opened my eyes, Bucky was carrying a cup of coffee while James held a plate of pancakes for me.

“Blueberry is still your favorite right?” Bucky asked as he handed me my coffee.

I looked at the plate and saw he'd stirred blueberries into the pancakes and I smiled.

“Yes, yes they are.” I said as I sat up.

That night, he put James to bed while I relaxed, trying not to fall asleep on the couch.

“Doll face, you're nodding off,” Bucky said, concerned, “Come on, let's get you to bed.”

“I'm fine,” I insisted as I yawned and fell against his chest “I just need five minutes.”

He chuckled and kissed the crown of my head.

“Bed, now.” He commanded and scooped me up. Once I was in bed I reached for him.

“Don't leave.” I quietly begged him “Please don't leave.”

“I'll be right back,” he assure me as he squeezed my hand “I promise.”

I sleepily nodded and after what felt like a few minutes, he finally came back and held me in his arms.

“Go to sleep,” He murmured in my ear “I'll be here when you wake up, I promise.”

I was too tired to argue, I nodded and squeezed him as I drifted off to sleep listening to the steady beat of his heart.

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


The next day, Bucky, James and I stood to the back of the pack as we watched Pepper and Morgan place a wreath with Tony’s ashes on it out into the lake. My heart hurt for them and for everyone on the team. Before Bucky and I had moved to the country, Tony and I had constantly butted heads. Call it two strong personalities clashing, but once everyone vanished, he and Pepper became not only my closest neighbors, but also my dearest friends. James and their daughter, Morgan, were around the same age and played wonderfully together. I often envied Pepper and Tony because they had each other while I didn’t have anyone. When Bucky vanished, he had taken half of my heart with him. Now that I had him back, Pepper didn’t have Tony and I ached for her and Morgan.

  
  


After the lovely service, James tugged at my skirt.

“I go play with Morgan now?” He asked.

“See if she wants to play,” I told him “and see if Nathaniel wants to play too.”

I watched as James wandered over to Morgan and talked to her. She looked hopefully up at Pepper who turned and looked at me. I nodded and then she and Morgan exchanged words. With a delighted squeal, I watched as James grabbed Morgan’s hand and they made their way over to Clint and his family. All three Barton children looked willing to play as I watched them come up behind James and Morgan.

Pepper made her way over to me and hugged me tightly.

“I’m so sorry Pepper.” I told her as I squeezed her.

“Thank you.” She said solemnly and pulled back, wiping tears from her eyes.

“Hey, we’re here okay?” I told her and squeezed her hands “I’m here for you and Morgan just like you guys were here for me.”

Pepper nodded and said

“We’ll make a play date once everything settles. I promise.”

“I know.” I told her as more people looked like they wanted to approach Pepper. “we’ll talk later okay?”

Pepper nodded and turned around, a stoic look on her face.

  
  


******* _Bucky pulled me to the side and asked_

“ _Was this how it was for you while I was gone?”_

_I nodded and said_

“ _To an extent, yes. But I didn’t have the support she does. When I lost you, half the planet had lost so we carried on as best as we could. Now that Thanos is gone, we have our families back.”_

_Bucky pressed his forehead to mine and said_

“ _That haunts my nightmares, thinking about you and James all alone with no one around.”_

“ _We HAD people,” I corrected him “The Starks, Natasha, Steve, But we were missing the one person we needed.”_

_Bucky nodded and kissed my forehead_

“ _Never again doll face.” He told me and I watched as he dropped to one knee. In his hand, he held a rose gold ring with a small heart shaped diamond on it._

“ _I know this is all out of order, but I want us to be together forever.” He said as I gasped._

“ _Bucky!” I breathed, clapping a hand over my mouth._

“ _Marry me?” He asked “Make me the luckiest son of bitch in the world?”_

_Tears welled my eyes as I nodded._

“ _Yes!” I exclaimed “Yes! I’ll absolutely marry you!”_

_He smiled and stood, hugging me tightly as we kissed. I could barely process all of it. Within days, I had everything I missed in five years. The love of my life was back, my friends were here, my son was squealing in laughter a few feet away, I couldn’t imagine a more perfect scene_ _**.** _ *******

  
  


“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.” Steve told Bucky.

Steve and Bruce had come up with the plan for Steve to time travel and return all of the Infinity Stones where and when they'd gotten them from in the first place.

“How can I when you’re taking all the stupid with you?” Bucky asked and the two embraced.

“He gives you any trouble,” Steve told me and nodded at Bucky “make sure to kick his ass.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna have A LOT of luck against a super solider.” I chided Steve, who laughed.

I watched as Steve held the briefcase containing all six Infinity Stones and shut it. He carried it up to the silver platform and I held Bucky’s flesh hand.

“For us it’ll be five seconds,” Bruce explained “but for him, it will be as long as he needs.”

“They’re sure it’s gonna work?” I asked

“It has to,” He said “that’s how they saved all of us.”

I nodded and watched Steve climb up on to the platform along with Bucky and Sam. I squeezed Bucky’s hand in mine and he kissed my temple.

“It’s gonna be okay doll face.” He told me “Steve’s got this.”

I nodded and Steve’s helmet snapped over his head. Within seconds, he was gone and when he failed to reappear in the same spot, Sam automatically freaked out.

“Bring him back!” He yelled at Bruce “Bring him the hell back!”

I felt Bucky turn and then he finally called Sam’s name. When I turned, I saw an older gentleman. He had to be in his seventies or eighties, judging by age spots and deep wrinkles on his skin.

“Go on.” Bucky encouraged Sam, so walked over the the older man. It turned out that he was the older version of the Steve Rodgers we knew and loved, and while he returned the Infinity Stones where they belonged, he’d gotten a life. Judging by the ring on his left hand, I guessed he had done okay for himself.

“Hang on to her,” he said, speaking to Bucky as he nodded to me “she’s a good one Buck.”

Bucky nodded and said

“I will.”

  
  


We got back to the house later than planned, the kids had worn themselves out playing and James was asleep in my arms as Bucky and I walked through the door of our house. I put James to bed and he stirred awake.

“Where’s Daddy?” He asked sleepily.

“Brushing his teeth,” I told him as I smoothed his dark hair out of his eyes “you’ll see him in the morning sweet boy.”

James nodded and yawned before going back to sleep.

  
  


I walked into mine and Bucky’s room where he was waiting in bed for me.

“How is he?” Bucky asked.

“Snug as a bug in a rug.” I told him as I took off my earrings and necklace and put them back in their proper spots. I climbed into bed with Bucky, settling next to him as his arms wrapped around me as I laid my hands over his.

“Was that how it was for you?” He asked “While I was gone?”

“No,” I told him “worse.”

Bucky pressed his forehead to mine and said

“That haunts my nightmares you know? Thinking about you and James all alone with no one around.”

“We had Steve and Natasha,” I reminded him “Tony, Pepper and Morgan too, but it wasn’t the same. I hate saying this, but I cried a lot.”

“Why?” He asked “Why do you hate saying that?”

“Because I know it makes you feel bad,” I told him “it’s not like we had any control over the situation.”

“Never again doll face.” He told me and I watched as he sat up and pulled me with him. He tugged me off the bed and held me in his arms. We stood like that for a long time before he finally pulled back and he dropped to one knee. He reached in his pocket and in his fingers he held the most beautiful engagement ring I'd ever seen.

“I know this is all out of order, but I want us to be together forever.” He said as I gasped.

“Bucky!” I breathed, clapping a hand over my mouth.

“Marry me?” He asked “Make me the luckiest son of bitch in the world?”

Tears welled my eyes as I nodded.

“Yes!” I exclaimed “Yes! I’ll absolutely marry you!”

He smiled and stood, hugging me tightly as we kissed. I could barely process all of it, in the space of a few days, I had almost everything I’d ever wanted in my life. My family was whole, my friends were back, everything felt right. For the first time in a long time, it felt like everything was happening like it was supposed to. I held Bucky’s face in my hands as we kissed over and over again. He pulled back and slipped the ring on my finger and admired it, smiling.

“You like it?” He asked as he kissed my temple.

“I love it.” I told him and looked up at him.

“I had this before,” he paused and took a deep breath “before everything. I wanted to give it to you long before now.”

“Really?” I asked and he nodded.

“I’m five years behind.” he said with a sad look on his face. I held his face in my hands and said

“Hey, we’re together now, we love each other and that’s what matters. Remember that okay?”

He sighed, nodded and kissed me as he pulled me close. He backed me up to the bed and set me down as he crawled on top of me. Our legs tangled together as he pinned me between him and the mattress. When we parted, I grinned at him and said

“Hold that thought for a second, I have to take my makeup off.”

“Later,” He rasped “I want you, now.”

Who was I to disobey my sergeant’s orders?

I nodded and we kissed hard, his fingers tangling in my hair.

“Bucky,” I sighed as he kissed my cheek, chin and neck, he bit the juncture between my neck and shoulder and followed that up with a a kiss that made my back arch “oh Bucky!” I moaned as I dug my fingers into his shoulders. He pulled me up into a sitting position and unzipped my dress down my back.

“You’re too hot to be in mourning in this dress.” He said in my ear as he pulled the straps down my shoulders. I wriggled out of the dress and tossed it aside, leaving me in just a strapless bra and my underwear.

“Doll face,” he murmured as he kissed me “you’re too damn gorgeous for your own good.”

“And it’s all for you,” I reminded him “Sergeant Barnes.”

He let out a feral growl and pinned me back to the bed, attacking my neck and collar bone with kisses.

“It’s fucking sinful the way you talk some times.” He told me.

“You love it,” I reminded him “every single second of it.”

“Yes I do.” He admitted as I took his shirt off of him.

 

 

 


End file.
